


suicidal stolen art

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Thieves, Bucky Barnes is a little shit, Complicated Relationships, Dubious Morality, Enemies to Lovers, Enemy Lovers, Flirting, Flirty Tony Stark, Fluff, Heist, M/M, Thief Bucky Barnes, theyre techincally criminals, thief Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 10:34:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20134036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: Tony was going to kill Bucky Barnes. Tony was going to cut the other thief’s flesh arm off and beat him with it. It was bad enough that they were both running jobs in the same building, but they had to be going for the same necklace, too.Really, the universe hated Tony. He stared at the ceiling, sending up a very nasty prayer in case someone was listening, then turned back to the job at hand.





	suicidal stolen art

**Author's Note:**

> title from billie eilish's "bitches broken hearts"
> 
> im more than a little loopy right now on lack of sleep and i typed this in like, an hour and change, so its probably a mess but enjoy!

Tony was going to kill Bucky Barnes. Tony was going to cut the other thief’s flesh arm off and beat him with it. It was bad enough that they were both running jobs in the same building, but they had to be going for the same necklace, too.

Really, the universe hated Tony. He stared at the ceiling, sending up a very nasty prayer in case someone was listening, then turned back to the job at hand.

The necklace he wanted was currently on the neck of Bucky’s dance partner, Sunset Bain. Bucky’s hand was on her shoulder, inches from the clasp. He made eye contact with Tony as he moved it closer. Tony wanted to kill him, just a little bit more.

He leaned back against the bar, swirling the whiskey he couldn’t drink on the job. Bucky was obviously going to get the necklace; Tony could see the twitch in his fingers that belied his intentions. His only chance, then, was to steal it from Bucky. Tony was a good thief; he didn’t doubt he could do it, but it made things more complicated. 

With a huff, he set his whiskey on the bar, straightened his jacket, and headed for the dance floor. Dodging a few drunk socialites, he made straight for Bucky, a smile in place.

“If I could cut in,” he purred to a necklace-free Bain. She fluttered her eyelashes, clearly thinking she was about to dance with him. Mercilessly, he spun her out and grabbed Bucky’s hands instead. “I owe the gentleman here a dance.”

“Tony,” Bucky drawled, mischief in his eyes. “What brings you here tonight?”

Tony let Bucky lead the dance, falling in step. He scanned the other man for the necklace, but Bucky had squirreled it away somewhere. No matter; he could find it. Discreetly, he shifted the hand he had on Bucky’s hip. 

“I could ask you the same question,” he said, licking his lips and drawing Bucky’s attention to the motion instead of his questing hands. He wasn’t above using the man’s attraction to him to get the job done. And if it had led to some pleasurable nights between jobs, well, that was no one’s business. “I thought you were in Russia for the week.”

“Got back early,” Bucky shrugged. “I figured I’d take an easy job. It’s not in that pocket, you know.”

Tony cursed in his head and stilled his hand. “You figured you’d take  _ my job _ , you mean,” he said, a hint of venom in his voice. “What, couldn’t stay away?”

“I did want to see you again,” Bucky said casually, like it didn’t make Tony’s stomach flutter in a way unbefitting of a hardened criminal. “But I  _ also  _ wanted some jewelry. You have to admit, it’s a pretty necklace.”

“I know,” Tony said, leaning a little closer, letting their breaths mingle. His hand was on resting on the juncture where Bucky’s neck met his shoulder, right where a necklace chain would lie. The music slowed down and Tony shifted closer. “I missed you too, you know.”

Bucky’s breath hitched. Tony wouldn’t have noticed it, had he not been pressed against the man’s chest. “Way to be sappy, doll,” he teased. “I thought you didn’t do emotions?”

“I could make an exception for you,” Tony fluttered his eyelashes and closed his fingers around the chain. With a deft movement, it was off and in his hand. He smirked at Bucky, filled with satisfaction. “But I won’t.”

It was a lie; he already had. But Tony didn’t say that, didn’t let Bucky know. Because emotions were a weakness and he had learned his lesson ten times over. With one last wink, he spun himself into the arms of another partner, leaving Bucky alone on the dancefloor. 

He was back at the bar, necklace in a special pocket in his jacket, when Bucky noticed it was gone. Tony was getting sloppy; it had taken Bucky only a minute to notice the loss. Tony made eye contact, tipping his whiskey in acknowledgement. 

Bucky, ever the gracious loser, rolled his eyes.

Tony drained his drink, dropping it back on the bar right as Bain started shrieking. 

“Someone stole my necklace!” she shouted. She looked a bit like an enraged parrot, with her colorful dress and sharp nose. 

But Tony didn’t have time to revel in his amusement, not when he saw security start to mobilize.

“Everyone remain in the ballroom, please,” one of them shouted. Others moved to block the exits. “We are going to conduct a search.”

“Fuck,” Tony cursed. The necklace was well-hidden on his person, but he didn’t know if it would stand up to a vigorous search, the kind he knew he’d get if Bain recognized him. “ _ Fuck _ .”

“Problem, doll?” Bucky sidled up next to him, resting a hand on his arm. 

Tony whirled around with a glare. “You’re a dick,” he said plainly. “Did you seriously tell her her necklace was stolen, just so I wouldn’t get it?”

“Technically, the bald man to her left asked about where it went,” the other thief shrugged, unrepentant. “I know how you like a challenge.”

“I hate you,” Tony hissed, analyzing the room as fast as he could. He couldn’t get out the main doors, but there was a side door that led to the kitchen that was unguarded. “And I will not hesitate to bring you down with me if they catch me.”

“Don’t get caught, then,” chuckled Bucky. They both knew that Tony would never do it; honor among thieves, and all that. Neither of them would ever turn the other in. “What’s the plan?”

“Service door, three o’clock,” Tony decided. “And give it back.”

Bucky obediently held out the necklace he had stolen from Tony’s pocket. “This?” he asked innocently. 

Tony snatched it back silently. He started moving towards the service door, cursing Bucky in his head, as per usual. He kept a smile on, the plastic one that waitstaff wore at these stupid parties. Adjusting his bowtie, he figured he could pass for a waiter if he snatched one of the unattended trays. 

Bucky followed him, quiet, trusting. Tony hated it a little bit, hated the blush that he could feel on his cheeks. They slipped into the kitchens, dodging the suspicious eyes of guards. They were both well-trained, smart, good enough to do it. Tony had to resist the urge to stick his tongue out at them, though, so maybe he wasn’t  _ that  _ well trained. 

The kitchens were nearly empty. Tony dropped his tray off with a huff. He hadn’t studied the plans for the kitchen, cocky in thinking that the job would be easy in and out. If he had to hide like an amateur because there was no backdoor, he was going to kill Bucky.

“Over there,” Bucky said, cottoning on to his thought process. He pointed down the hallway. “It’ll take us outside.”

“It better,” Tony grumbled, letting Bucky take the lead. He didn’t loosen his grip on the necklace, though, the diamond pendant nearly cutting into his hand. Even Bucky wasn’t good enough to take it like that. 

“So,” said Bucky, in an attempt to make small talk. It was awkward and Tony barely hid his wince. They were better either snarking, stealing, or sleeping together. “What have you been up to lately?”

Tony indulged him, though. He’d never admit it, but he had a soft spot that he was sure Bucky knew about. “Did you hear about the Cartier heist?”

“That was you?” Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Little ambitious for one guy, don’t you think?”

“I had a team,” said Tony waspishly. “Rhodey and Pepper. But if you don’t think I could’ve pulled that off alone, you should get your head checked. Their security was abysmal! Hammer Tech, Barnes.  _ Hammer Tech _ .”

Bucky laughed; he always liked getting a rise out of Tony. Tony hated it. “They were asking to be robbed, then,” he agreed, voice warm. “Come through here.”

Tony stepped through the door into the fresh air, the satisfaction of a job well done curling in his veins. “Better luck next time, Bucky,” he teased, letting the necklace dangle from his fist. 

“You know,” Bucky prowled towards him. “No one likes a sore winner.”

Tony winked. “You weren’t saying that last week, babe.” He tucked the necklace into his pocket and out of sight. 

“If I recall, I won that one,” said Bucky. “And you were a pretty sore loser.”

“Was not,” Tony shot back over his shoulder as he walked away. He stopped in his tracks at the flashing lights. “Shit. Cops.”

“Fuck,” Bucky agreed. He messed up his hair and unbuttoned his top shirt button. 

Then he leaned in and caught Tony’s mouth in a kiss. It was deep and sharp, teeth and tongues clashing, but it was just what Tony liked (and Bucky knew it). 

Tony melted into the kiss, even though he knew he should’ve been staying aware. The cops were  _ right there _ , but all he could think about was the warmth of Bucky’s lips on his. It wasn’t even like it was their first kiss, but Tony reacted the same way every time. 

He groaned softly as Bucky backed him against the brick wall and did a wicked thing with his tongue. He felt Bucky’s hands roaming his body and resigned himself to losing a few possessions, even as he knotted his hands in the thief's hair. 

“Hey! You two!” someone shouted. Bucky drew back with one last flick of his tongue along Tony’s lips. Tony barely held back a whine at the loss, desperately trying to find his composure.

“Yes, officer?” he blinked, putting on an innocent smile, as if he didn’t look completely debauched. 

The officer narrowed his eyes. “We’re securing the perimeter here,” he said gruffly. “You two need to go somewhere else.”

“Not a problem,” Bucky said smoothly. “We were just leaving, anyway.”

“See that you do,” the officer said, walking away. 

He barely got out of earshot before Tony was breaking into giggles. “We are law-abiding citizens,” he winked theatrically. 

“Speak for yourself,” Bucky grinned, high on the thrill of a job. He leaned in for another kiss, one that Tony returned enthusiastically. 

“I have to go,” Tony said regretfully, breaking away after a long minute. “Job’s done.”

Something flickered in Bucky’s eyes too fast for Tony to read. “I’ll see you around, then,” he said with a smirk. “Goodbye, Tony.”

“Until next time, Barnes,” Tony saluted with two fingers, but Bucky was already gone into the shadows, the dramatic bastard.

He had to get back to his client, anyway. They’d be wanting the necklace. 

Tony dug a hand into his pocket. He wasn’t entirely surprised to find it empty of the necklace he had been hired to steal. Bucky must’ve taken it while they were kissing. Tony had to applaud his technique, even if it did leave a scowl on his face at being outplayed.

He’d have a chance to steal it back, though. In his pocket was a hotel key, helpfully labeled with a room number.

Whistling happily, he set off towards the hotel. The job wasn’t over yet, and his fun was just getting started.

**Author's Note:**

> im thinking of writing a winteriron oceans 8 (because i havent seen the originals, i am a Heathen) au, if theres interest? lmk!
> 
> comments and kudos make me a happy writer
> 
> come hit me up on tumblr [@imposter-human](https://imposter-human.tumblr.com/)


End file.
